A Bihari wedding in the eastern part of India can be witnessed in the state of Bihar, which compared to some states in India is considered backward, but it is also a state that has provided some of the best officials and scholars in the IAS to our country. The people are proud of their light and rustic lifestyle, which is deeply rooted in their traditions. In the past, wedding celebrations among the Bihari were a long affair lasting more than a month, but today the ceremonies are completed in 45 days.
The marriage is fixed by the elders of the family and the girl and the boy, even today, agree with the decision of their parents, regardless of whether they like that person or not. A Bihari Hindu wedding begins with the Satyanarayan Katha which is arranged for the groom by the groom’s parents. All relatives fast on that day and a sacred fire is lit that is not extinguished until the wedding rituals are completed. After this, an auspicious day is decided for the engagement ceremony known as Cheka among the Bihari. On this day, 7, 9 or 11 members together with the groom can go to the bride’s house with gifts and the future bride and groom exchange rings. The next day, the same number of members visit the groom’s place and present them with gifts. The gift is usually in the form of a shagun where the priest along with the bride’s brother, hairdresser and other relatives visit the groom. The brother applies tilak on the groom’s forehead and gives him clothes, gold ornaments and other things for the groom’s relatives. This is an important occasion for the groom’s side as they prepare sumptuous meals for their guests and decorate their house giving it a festive look.
The mother of the groom and the bride grind haldi, i.e. turmeric paste with their hands and send it to their daughter-in-law and son-in-law respectively. On the lagan mahurat, an auspicious day to start the wedding ceremonies, a haldi ritual is performed at the place of the bride and groom where uptan is applied to the body of the bride/groom for purification. Then again on the wedding day, this ceremony is repeated after which they bathe and dress for their wedding.
On the same day, the blessings of the dead ancestors are taken by performing the Dhritdhari and Matripoojan ritual. The groom’s family gives clothes and cash to their elders for coming and blessing them. After this, the mother of the groom performs aarti for the groom so that no evil power can harm him and her marital life runs smoothly, this ritual is known as Paricchavan. The Bihari groom then leaves for the wedding venue with a wedding procession called the Baraat. When the procession arrives at the venue, the bride’s relatives welcome all relatives from the groom’s side with garlands. The groom is greeted by the priest from the bride’s side, who puts tilak on the groom’s forehead and is then led onto the stage by the bride’s father. The bride then enters and performs an aarti for the groom, after which they exchange garlands. Before the next big ceremony, which is the mandap ceremony, five female members from the bride’s side perform a fun-filled ritual with the groom in which the bride’s mother carries a thaali (large plate) with betel leaves, a small lighted lamp and small pieces of cow dung. The females then heat the betel leaves and apply them to the groom’s face, forehead, and eyes at least five times each. The remaining women throw lumps of cow dung behind the groom.
The bride and groom then arrive at the mandap where the Bihari bride wears a yellow colored sari and the groom wears a dhoti kurta. Both are tied with a bracelet made with mango leaves by the priest. The barber then arrives and cuts the couple’s toenails and fingernails. After this Kanyadaan ceremony, the father of the bride performs it, where he officially hands over the responsibility of her beloved daughters to her groom. The couple then take seven pheras around the fire and the bride throws rice with a broth into the sacred fire. The groom then applies sindoor (vermilion) on the bride’s forehead to her hair and this act is repeated five times. The groom then ties the mangal sutra around his neck and the wedding rituals are completed and the newlywed couple receives blessings from their elders.