My magical cat, Silver, came to me in a dream. And then he brought me to Jezibel.
When my previous cat, Miss Winters, made the transition, I was in a lot of pain. My friends kept calling me to say they knew of a cat that needed a home, but I knew she wasn’t ready for another. If she had taken another cat before ending the duel for Winter, she would have been comparing the new cat to her. That wouldn’t be fair to the new cat.
A couple of years after Winter’s death, I dreamed of a gray cat. It was as if he was lying on the ground and the cat was walking towards me. That is all. About 15 seconds of a dream, but he stayed with me all that day and the next.
Three days after the gray cat dream, a woman I knew who worked in my vet’s office called me. “We have a cat here from the shelter who is up for adoption and I think you should take a look at him. His name is Silver Cloud.”
When he said his name I was stunned. My first thought was, “It’s here! The gray cat from my dream is here…and I don’t even have cat food or a litter box!” I made arrangements to go see him the next day.
On the way to the vet’s office, I stopped to pick up a friend who wanted to go with me and see this dream cat I had told her about. When we got to the vet’s office, we went in and were taken to a room with huge cages. The vet’s assistant took Silver out of a cage and gave him to me to hold. He was so excited he could barely sit still, and he kept moving from my left shoulder to my right and back again and then he would flop back and look at me, almost like he couldn’t believe I was really there.
While this was going on, my friend was telling the vet and her assistant about a black kitten she had had but abandoned because she got married and her husband hated cats. She still deeply missed the cat. The vet’s assistant turned and removed a small black cat from another cage and handed it to my friend, probably hoping that she would fall in love with the cat and adopt him.
Before anyone could say a word, Silver saw the kitten, flung himself back into my arms, put his arm around the kitten’s neck, and pulled her to him. He started licking her face like he was kissing her all over.
Both the vet and her assistant were stunned. “Those two cats have never seen each other,” the vet finally said.
We watched the lovefest for a while and I finally told them I’d take Silver with me and come back the next day to pick him up, having bought cat food and other essentials.
The next day I came to pick up the cat of my dreams, but a surprise awaited me. “We let Silver and Jezibel, the little black kitten, stay out of their cages in the bedroom and play together, eat together, sleep together and were basically inseparable … and you have to take them both,” he said. the vet announced.
“No. I just want a cat,” I replied.
Well, this argument went on for a while until finally she said, “Take them both or you won’t get any Silver. I won’t even charge you for Jezibel.”
And that’s how I ended up with two cats.
It has been fifteen years since that day and every day I have been so thankful that the vet made me take both cats. They have loved each other so much every day since that first day. They still sleep close to or next to each other, eat together, have licking fests, and basically love each other the hell out of it.
Or they did, until yesterday. Recently, Jezibel had weakened, she was eating less and less and beginning to have difficulty breathing. She soon got so bad that she couldn’t cross the room without stopping to catch her breath. So she took her to the vet yesterday and her determination was that she had a tumor that was causing fluid to overfill in the area around her heart and lungs, making it difficult for her to breathe. There was nothing that could be done to improve it. So my husband and I made the most difficult decision of allowing the vet to put her to sleep.
I am very sad that I will not be able to enjoy Jezibel and the special connection we had. Still, I am grateful that they allowed me to enjoy it for so many years. And I am even more grateful that I was able to witness the deep and lasting love that she and Silver had for each other.
I think she and Silver had a communication towards the latter about her leaving this plane. At one point he just sat next to her in silence as they gazed into her eyes. He doesn’t seem to miss her, he doesn’t look for her or anything like that. I believe that when beloved pets transition, their spirit remains for a period of time. It’s almost as if the pet wants to continue sharing her love for a while to help those left behind adjust to losing her. I think Silver senses that her spirit is still here…and so do I.
Remember… love is forever
As I was writing this article, I was reminded of another I wrote years ago after the death of a dear friend. One day I was talking to a wise friend about my reaction and my deep grievance at the death of my other friend. I reflected on the fact that we come from love or fear, and since this wrong did not feel like love, it must be fear of some kind. But fear of what?
She did not disappoint me and instantly gave me the wisdom I was looking for. “The grievance,” she said, “is the fear of lack of love.”
It makes a lot of sense. When someone, or something like a beloved pet that we love, dies, we fear that the love we shared with that person will also die. But here’s the truth: once energy is created, it exists for eternity. Love, like all emotions, is energy. This means that when you lose someone or something you loved, the energy of that love still exists. And you can play it anytime you want so you can enjoy it again.
It is easy. All you have to do is remember an instance or event with that person or thing that created the feeling of love within you. And you will feel it again in an instant, whenever you want. And the best part is that you can never lose a memory that creates the energy of love for you.
So if you feel yourself beginning to sink into the sadness of grief, remember that it’s a sign to you that you’re afraid you’ve lost love. Know that you can never lose love because it is eternal. And then remember a moment or an experience that brought you the feeling of love. As you do, you will feel that energy of love once again.