Have you ever heard the cliché, “what you don’t know can’t hurt you”? If so, do you subscribe? If it does, it shouldn’t. Because, lack of knowledge can expose you to scary situations. mysteries in a negotiation – secrets that can bite you at the most unsuspecting points of the negotiation. But there is a way to protect yourself. How: accurately interpreting the meaning of shoulder shrugs when negotiating.
Shrugging shoulders convey secret information. They expose hidden thoughts of the person trying to hide those thoughts.
Take a look at the following examples of shrugs. You’ll get hidden information that those shrugs are trying to hide.
When a person shows a shrug, it can represent a multitude of hidden meanings. It can be a sign of reluctance (that is, what else do you expect from me) – a sign of protection (that is, I will not stick my neck out) – it can also be a sign of exasperation (that is, I am getting tired of this). Regardless of the hidden meaning, it provides additional information about that person’s thoughts.
Just shrug: A single shrug of the shoulders can denote a complete lack of commitment in response to a question or statement made.
Slanted preference
- By showing a single shrug, a person will tend to favor their dominant side. This is important to note, because it adds additional meaning to the shrug. For example, if someone who is right-handed shrugs their left shoulder, they may be showing less commitment to the response that the gesture elicited. As with anything related to body language reading, you must establish the foundation of someone’s body language before you can accurately assess the validity of their actions.
Double shrug: A double shrug (both shoulders elevated) can connote more commitment to an answer or statement. For example, if you raise both shoulders while saying “I didn’t do it,” you would be showing more commitment to the statement than if you were showing a single shrug – note: to discern the probability of the truth you must dig even deeper. The act of shrugging is that person’s commitment to their pronouncement at that moment; it may change with further testing.
Slanted preference
- When someone shrugs their shoulders twice, that person’s hands provide additional information. For example, if an offer consisting of two items is made and the recipient says, “I don’t care,” while shrugging with one hand higher than the other, they are non-verbally expressing a preference for one of the Items – Preference is in the order the items were offered or their proximity to the hand that is highest.
Additional meanings of shrug:
Hands: the movement of someone’s hands makes it possible to understand their thoughts. For additional awareness of the meaning of shrugging, take note of …
- hands close to the body – indicates that they are protected
- palms up: signs that have less to hide
- hands with palms down: accept less
- hands palms up and out – says stay away from me
Head Tuck: To observe how threatened someone can feel when shrugging their shoulders, look at the degree to which they protect their head when …
- head extends forward – says, i will challenge you
- head aside – denotes preference
- head up – affirms that I am willing to expose more of myself
- head in – says I’m getting less objective
Of course, the additional shrug meanings can hide someone’s true intention. That’s because good negotiators can affect this maneuver to add perceived emotional credibility to its effect.
Shrug time:
Always keep in mind the amount of time a shrug lasts and the number of times it occurs. The duration and the number of times will indicate the degree of anguish or ever-changing determination of a person to push back. In all cases, they will be indicating information that you can use to improve the negotiation.
Action item:
Begin to realize when, under what circumstances, and how often people shrug their shoulders. Doing so will increase your attention and skills about this behavior. That will allow you to become a better negotiator … and everything will be fine in the world.
Remember, you are always negotiating!
Listen to Greg’s podcast to https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator