If your marriage has been traumatized by an affair, but you still want to save it despite your spouse’s infidelity, there are 3 key ingredients you need to make it affair-proof and stronger than ever.
Saving a marriage after an affair is not easy, and the biggest obstacle to healing your relationship is living in the past and wishing things were the way they were before the affair.
You find yourself asking:
“Can’t we just go back to the way things were before?“
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“If only he could have done something differently, the affair would never have happened.“
Living in a fantasy world won’t help your relationship move forward, and if you really want to progress as a couple, you’ll need to face the reality that the affair happened. Saving your marriage won’t happen overnight because you first need to sort through the various emotions and feelings you have, but you can make it stronger and more satisfying than ever before, even during the “good” years.
The 3 ingredients you need to strengthen your marriage
- Love
- Commitment
- hard work
Love
The first thing your post-affair relationship needs is love. You need to go back and rediscover those things that first attracted you to each other. Have you two stopped dating? This is a great way to bring couples closer. Take some time and make a list of the things you both like to do and then schedule them on the calendar and make time to go out and do them. By having exclusive time with your spouse, you see them in a different light, away from the daily stress of work and home life.
By making time for each other, you nurture your relationship and lay the foundation for reestablishing an emotional connection with each other, which is the key ingredient to falling in love again.
Commitment
You both need to be committed if this is going to work and it will take time. Don’t expect to wake up one morning and say “I feel great, the emotional pain is gone, let’s move on in our relationship..” There are some things that will need to be worked out between the two of you because your relationship has changed, but if you are committed to saving your marriage, you can do it.
hard work
This goes hand in hand with commitment. If both of you are engaged, you will do the work necessary to save your marriage. Each party has different responsibilities in this field, for example: if you have been cheated on, you must first take care of yourself in order for the relationship to progress. You need to deal with your feelings and emotions head on as an individual before you can face them as a couple. If you’re the cheater, the first thing you should do is end the adventure if you haven’t already. Ask your spouse to help you with this by getting his input when you compose the letter or email, but this must be done.
Also, start re-establishing patterns of predictable behavior. Call your spouse regularly throughout the day, call them if you’re going to be late for work, be an open book to your spouse. This will go a long way in showing your spouse that he is committed to your marriage and is serious about your relationship.
These are the 3 key ingredients to saving a marriage after an affair. The road is long, it will not be easy but it can be achieved.
Noubliez pas
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