Most people do not know “sitting” language. You can create the illusion of power or equality in your relationship-building efforts by where you sit and where others sit at meetings, conferences, and after-hours events.
Power position
The position of power in a meeting that takes place at a rectangular table is always in the center facing the door, where the person can see who is coming and going. In the television clips, you will notice that this is where the President of the United States sits. The second most important position is to the right of the person, the third to his left.
Cooperative
Suppose in our illustration that person A is calling the meeting. The most cooperative position is next to him / her (B) because there are no barriers between them. People who already know each other frequently assume this position in business and social situations. While acceptable and recommended, first-time employers rarely use this position.
The next most cooperative position is C. Entrepreneurs often use this arrangement in a first meeting or until they get to know each other better. It is recommended for a job interview. It allows two people to be close while having the corner of the table as a safety zone.
Competitive
The most competitive position for A is D. The table is a barrier between them, and people can become competitive and defensive when sitting across from each other. If you have a choice, like in a restaurant, sit in the corner position or ask for a booth. Don’t create a competitive situation unnecessarily. It can get in the way of a potentially positive relationship building situation. When sitting in the competitive position, a person also becomes defensive about his personal territory (or half the table). Don’t accidentally push items into someone else’s space as it’s an invasion at dinner as if you’ve reached into their space and touched it.
Autonomous
A fourth position (E) is autonomous. You are on the other side of the table and in the near competitive position. It’s where you sit when you need to share a table and don’t want to get involved with the other person. You can choose it from a library or self-service restaurant. You may have to share space, but not necessarily a conversation.
Meetings
You can direct or control responses in a meeting by seating arrangements. Putting chairs in a circle encourages equal contributions. A horseshoe or “T” will recognize and emphasize the people at the head of the table. The theater seats or side by side say, “You are here to listen, not to talk.”
In a training situation, you can use circles for small group discussions, a horseshoe for workshops led by internal or external experts, and theater seating for a keynote presentation. When you add an elevated speaking platform, you are giving a special status to the speaker, as well as establishing one more barrier between him / her and the audience. Interaction is reduced; in fact, people often wait to be called.